Love & Pain

Can love ever really exist without pain? It seems whenever one falls in love or loves someone, at one point or another they get hurt by the one they love. Several of my friends have come to me asking for advice about someone they love or someone they're in love with, and there's always one thing in common with all of them, aside from feelings of infatuation or love, and that's pain or fear of it. I've also had my fair share of heartaches and heartbreaks, and I noticed that the ones that hurt the most were from the ones that I cared about and loved the most. All this made me realize that no, love can never exist without pain. Because to love, one has to open up their heart to someone else, someone who happens to be another human being. And as we all know, human beings do nothing better than mess up. And mess ups against someone else end up breaking that person's trust and also cause, yes you guessed it, pain. And the closer the person is to you, the more painful it is.

Does this mean we should stop loving altogether to avoid getting hurt? I say, Hell No! Falling in love, being in love, loving someone, and being hurt, are the things that make us human. Our emotions are what make us who we are. Without all of these, we'd be nothing more than robots; cold, heartless, and boring. A friend once told me he's scared to fall in love because he's scared of getting hurt. I told him, "It takes one who is strong to fall in love." Because one who falls in love and truly loves ends up allowing his or herself to become vulnerable by opening up his or her heart to the one they love and thus takes the risk of getting hurt by that same person. And that is why I say it takes one who is strong to do such a thing because they also know that if they do get hurt, they'll still be able to pick up the pieces, move on and live their lives and not mope around in some dark corner rotting away in their own self pity.

So I guess what I'm really trying to say is, don't be scared to fall in love. Don't be scared to let go and don't be scared to let yourself truly love someone. Take that risk. Cause life's just not worth living if you don't take the risks. Now I'm not saying go ahead and fall in love with whoever crosses your path. No. You should also learn to wisely choose the right person that will be deserving of your love. Guard your heart. But when you do find someone who you feel is right for you, then go ahead and let go. Now let me warn you, sometimes the person who you think is right for you, really isn't. So yes, you might end up getting hurt or getting your heart broken. But take it from one who's experienced in the department of getting hurt, the pain's a bitch when it happens but it's not the end of everything. Allow yourself to grieve if you have to, but then you gotta get up, brush the dirt off your shoulder and keep on walking. Afterall, as the saying goes, it's better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all. :)